In January 2012, I completed my first (and to this point only) marathon. I still remember crossing the finish line after a grueling 26.2 miles. The pain. The exhilaration. And the swell of emotion knowing I had just accomplished something special.
For 18 weeks, I trained. Short runs. Long runs. Waking up at 5 am. And all of this while my beautiful wife was pregnant with our first child. A few months later, in April, he was born. We named him Kellen, and I couldn’t help but make the comparison. The pain of childbirth. The exhilaration when I held him for the first time. And the swell of emotion. It was all there. It was like my wife (and I, to a much lesser extent) just completed a marathon. Or maybe we were just starting one? Or should we even compare this thing called parenthood to a marathon at all?
Having been a dad for more than 4 years now, I’d like to think I’ve gained at least a little perspective. And while my goal-oriented, sports-minded brain wants to see everything as a challenge to overcome, I’ve noticed something about fatherhood:
- It’s definitely hard work: The lack of sleep. The temper tantrums. The constant interruptions. And sometimes I think it’d be more efficient to just run the high chair through a car wash each day.
- It’s emotional: The giggles. The way my sons look up to me. The hugs when I get home from work. And the joy in teaching my oldest how to ride his bicycle.
- It’s exhilarating: The never-ending games of tag. Playing baseball in the backyard. Pretending to be “The Rock” when we wrestle. And you haven’t lived until you’ve opened your eyes to see a 4-year-old hovering over you…mid-flight.
But the struggle I’ve had with fatherhood is that there’s really nothing to achieve. There is no finish line.
Now this is difficult for me because I want a finish line. And in particular, I want the feeling that comes with a finish line. My marathon gave that to me, and after 5 hours and 6 minutes, it rewarded my exhaustion
But fatherhood?
There is no time limit. There is no end. There isn’t that one singular moment that rewards the total exhaustion I go through as a dad.
And that’s the beauty of it. Fatherhood isn’t about the finish line. It’s not a challenge to overcome. The reward that comes with being a father lies in the journey. And it’s up to you to recognize it.
I’m not sure where you are in that journey. Maybe your kids are grown. Maybe you can’t have kids but serve as a father figure. Maybe you don’t have kids yet but hope to one day. Or maybe you’re new to this whole fatherhood thing like I am.
Wherever you are in this journey, take a moment to enjoy it. Because if I’ve found one bit of peace in these first 4 years of fatherhood, it’s that I’ll never find that one euphoric moment. But if I stop, look around, and enjoy the journey, I’ll find something different. I’ll find that these moments surround me every day.
Question: What’s one thing you love about being a father? (Share your thoughts and inspire others in the comments below.)
