In September 2013, my life was grand. I was a few months into working my dream job as COO and Editor-in-Chief of a startup men’s magazine. We just landed our first cover story on David Backes, captain of the St. Louis Blues, and I found myself standing center ice at the Scottrade Center, days before the NHL season was about to begin.

I was on top of the world.

That month wasn’t perfect, however. My wife’s grandmother passed away, and she flew with our son Kellen to Seattle for the funeral. It’s never easy to lose a loved one, but Alissa’s grandmother had lived a long and full life.

Little did we know that at that moment…the winds were just starting to blow.

About a month later, we faced the most challenging circumstance in our entire lives. Alissa lost our baby and nearly her own life, when she was faced with a partial molar pregnancy and severe preeclampsia.

We did our best to pick up the pieces and move forward, grateful that Alissa’s life had been spared. But the storms only grew.

In January of 2014, one of my aunts passed away suddenly, and I now found myself flying back to New Jersey with my siblings for another funeral I never anticipated. Then, a couple days after the funeral, my boss called while Alissa and I were on our way to dinner to celebrate our 3^rd anniversary. He informed me that the magazine was having financial struggles and that he would have to cut my salary dramatically. And then he told me the number. My new salary was going to put me below what I was making in my previous job.

I was devastated.

What happened? Everything had been going so right. And now my family was in the midst of these storms that would not go away.

Sensing the writing on the wall, I made the difficult decision at the end of January to leave my dream job and venture out into the world of the unknown. Anyone who has ever searched for a job knows how scary it is. But you know what’s even scarier? Having no income. Praise God we had an emergency fund, but we knew it wouldn’t last forever.

In order to focus, I would escape to the library every day. While there I worked on some freelance work to bring in some cash to pay the bills and applied for multiple jobs a day. After one of these days in February, I came home to a crying wife.

Alissa had just gone out to get the mail and found a letter from our insurance company. They were denying all of our claims associated with the loss of her pregnancy and nearly her own life, including her 7 days in 2 hospitals.

So not only were we still grieving the loss of our baby and trying to make sense of it all, but we were jobless and now facing what would end up being over $40,000 in medical bills.

To add one more lightning bolt to these storms, my grandmother passed away in March, and I once again found myself on an airplane to New Jersey for a funeral. But this time I was trying to pinch every penny I could just to pay for the flight.

These were our storms, and they’re not the last storms we will face. But you know what? We survived. We grieved. I found a job. We paid off our medical bills. And our marriage is stronger than ever.

But how?

1. God. Being in the midst of a storm can be quite unsettling. I began each day with 1 hour of prayer, not in my home where I would be distracted. I went to church, prayed in the chapel before the Eucharist, and read the scriptures of the day. This gave me peace and a sense of trust I desperately needed as we faced these deaths, filled out job applications, and tried to make sense of our countless medical bills.

2. Our Marriage and Family. It could have been easy to let these storms divide us. But Alissa and I chose to allow it to make us stronger. We leaned on each other, lifted each other up when we were down, and got a plan together for the things we could control (finances, job search, etc.). In addition, we had tremendous prayer and support from both of our families.

3. Community. When we found out insurance denied our claims, it was devastating. But praise God for our community. Two of our closest friends, Matt and Tobi, dropped everything they were doing and came over to our house to watch our son Kellen so we could have a small date. This allowed Alissa and I to clear our heads, talk through our emotions, and get a plan going. Other friends, like Joel and Katie, gave me some freelance work to help pay the bills, while still others made meals and kept us in their prayers.

We don’t get to choose whether or not we’ll go through storms. They will happen. And we don’t get to choose which storms we will face. The only choice we get is how we react to them. We can quit, or we can persevere. We can give in to frustration, anger, or depression. Or we can choose joy.

Our storms were not the hardest storms ever in the history of the world. Every night, Alissa and I pray for people who are suffering far greater tragedies, difficulties, and challenges than we’ve ever faced. But regardless of the storm, the formula still works: God, marriage and family, community. If you rely on these 3 ingredients, you can survive any storm.

Relieve the underlying stress in your life

Many people don’t realize the underlying stress in their life is caused by financial troubles. Perhaps that’s you. Or perhaps it’s someone you know. I’ve been there. I’ve felt it. Thankfully, I’m not there anymore. 

And I want to help. 

As a certified financial coach (by Dave Ramsey’s team), I teach people how to take back control of their finances so they can have peace of mind and a better future.  

If you’re looking to get out of debt, build some savings, or need help setting up your budget, schedule an appointment today (online or in-person), and I’ll help guide you on that path toward peace.