Measure Your Humility in Three Words

I strive to be a humble person. I try to put others first, listen before speaking, and serve before being asked.

And I’ve always thought I’ve done a pretty good job (which should’ve tipped me off to the fact that I don’t quite have this humility thing down yet.)

But, recently I was confronted with a question that cut to my heart and made me realize that I still have a long way to go:

Are you the type of person who walks in a room and says, “Here I am” or “There you are”?

Bam….like a 2×4 between the eyes.

While I’d like to think that every time I walk into a room I’m 100% focused on the individual(s) in front of me, too often that’s not the case. Sometimes, I’m thinking about the long list of things I need to get done. Sometimes, I’m thinking about what I want for lunch (probably Chick-fil-A). But most times, I walk into a room and want everyone present to focus on me.

Clearly, that’s not humility.

And nowhere has this been more evident than the moment I get home from work. After a full day at the office and a long commute fighting traffic, more often than not, I walk in the door and say something like:

Honey, wait until you hear about my day…

What’s for dinner? I’m hungry.

I just want to change and lay down on the couch. I’m exhausted.

And while there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with these statements, when they’re the first thing I say when I get home, they communicate one thing:

Here I am. It’s all about me.

What does this kind of attitude say to my wife? And what does it say to my kids?

Now, imagine if I went about it differently. My wife knows how hard I work, and she definitely remembers those days fighting traffic on the way home from her job. What would she think if the first thing I said when I got home after a long day was something like:

Hi honey. I missed you. Tell me about your day.

I’m sure you’re exhausted after taking care of 3 kids all day. What can I do to help you?

Let me go take the kids to the playroom so you can have a few minutes of peace and quiet.

My attitude shifts from “here I am” to “there you are.” Something tells me this might not only make for a better marriage, but look at what it says to my kids.

You are more important than me.

Your mom is more important than me.

And you need to treat your mom the same way.

Thankfully, this isn’t limited to those of us who are married and have kids. What would happen if we held this sort of attitude and practiced this humility with cars that pass us in traffic? Or co-workers we don’t like? Or our “friends” on social media? And just imagine what it could do for our neighborhoods, friendships, families, and more.

Humility could transform the world. But we’re too busy saying, “Here I am.”

Let’s change that. Let’s focus on three different words instead: “There you are.” It’s a simple sentence. But it says so much. And while I don’t quite have this humility thing down yet, these three words are a great place to start.

Question: What is 1 thing you can do to grow in humility today? (Share in the comments below.)