A few years ago, I was struggling with my place in life, despite the fact that everything seemed to be going great. Having entered my thirties and gotten married, my wife and I were filled with joy when our first son was born a year later. Combine this with an active prayer life, good job, and solid community of friends, and I had everything a man could ask for with his young family.
But still there was something inside of me that I couldn’t shake.
One Saturday morning I attended a men’s prayer breakfast at a Catholic church in Scottsdale, Arizona. The speaker was a priest from England whom I knew well and had heard several times. Being approximately 15 to 40 years younger than most of the audience, I wasn’t sure how much I’d get out of it. But still I listened intently.
Several minutes into his presentation, the priest began talking about what men struggle with as they get older. He acknowledged that most people tend to assume that the biggest struggle for men is related to sex. But this wasn’t the case. “The biggest struggle for most men as they get older,” he said, “is cynicism.”
Out of any presentation I’d heard in my entire life, this lone sentence may have been the most enlightening. That was it. That was the thing I couldn’t shake. Cynicism.
I drove home that morning, reflecting on this new revelation. My life had been going well, but through the years, I had grown more and more consumed with what I was witnessing in the world: politics, the media, the next generation, and I was slowly losing hope for the future. That’s why I felt the way I did. I had been traveling down a path of increasing cynicism, and I didn’t even realize it. But this wasn’t simply an internal struggle. It affected my attitude, my relationships, my work ethic, and more.
That’s how cynicism works. It happens gradually, to the point that most of us don’t recognize its presence. And it infects everyone differently. For me, it was primarily through politics, but that’s not always the case. Your financial situation, work life, family dynamics, or a combination of any number of things can lead you down a path of cynicism. And the problem is that it doesn’t stop in your mind. It can affect the way you treat your spouse, kids, friends, co-workers, or others.
If you’re struggling with cynicism, I’m not sure I have all the answers. After all, when the storms of life hit me, or after a tense election year, I still struggle quite a bit. But you do need to know one thing.
You are not alone.
Now that I realize this, and now that I am able to put a name to the struggle that I couldn’t shake, I recognize cynicism when it arises, check my attitude, talk about whatever is bothering me before I let it build up inside, and ask the Lord to help me in prayer. This has certainly been better than taking it out on my wife and kids.
Have I been able to fully shake it yet? No. But I’ve made some strides. And if you’re struggling with cynicism, you can too.
Question: What are some ways you deal with cynicism? (Share in the comments below.)
