“I only saw him years later when he was worn down by life. Look at him. He’s got his whole life in front of him, and I’m not even a glint in his eye.”
I was once a young man, full of energy, brimming with optimism, ready to take on the world. I was fun. I was athletic. I could wake up early and go to bed late without a hitch. My parents watched me grow up that way. My friends walked alongside me as they went about their own life journey. And my wife says these are some of the reasons she married me.
But my kids?
My kids never got to see me as a 21-year-old who could go without stopping, who didn’t need to rest when he got home from work, who could get off the couch without moaning. They met me when life had worn me down a little, I’d put on a few extra pounds, and I’d gotten a little more cynical.
If you’ve ever seen the movie Field of Dreams, you no doubt remember various iconic scenes. There’s the moment when Ray (Kevin Costner) first hears the voice, “If you build it, he will come.” There’s the “People will come” speech by Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones), and of course, the father/son catch at the end. But, as a father now, a new scene stuck out to me, and it may be my favorite in the whole film.
Check it out. (Jump to 1:25 if you don’t want to watch the whole scene)
In the movie, Ray talks often about the tumultuous relationship between him and his father. They fought a lot. But, here in this moment…Ray gets it. He realizes something about his dad now that he seems him as a young man.
“I only saw him years later when he was worn down by life. Look at him. He’s got his whole life in front of him, and I’m not even a glint in his eye.”
Perhaps this Father’s Day, we need to give our dads the gift of forgiveness. I know I need to do that with my dad. I still remember being a teenager and giving him a hard time for dozing off on the couch at 7 p.m. after work. I never forgave him for getting old. And, I never stopped to think that he was once young, and maybe the reason I had it so good, was because he gave up his youth…for me.
Maybe that’s not your experience with your dad. Maybe your relationship has been great. And if so, praise God for that. But I would venture to guess that, at least for most, there’s been a struggle in your relationship. This year, instead of a new tie, a coffee mug, or a “#1 Dad shirt,” consider the gift of forgiveness.
Your dad needs it.
You need it.
And I certainly hope my kids will one day forgive me.
Question: What is one thing you need to forgive your father for? (Share in the comments below.)
Eric,
Thank you for sharing yhis. I need to forgive my Dad for being gone more than he was home when I was young. He was in the Navy for 23 years and served during Vietnam Nam. He would often let young sailors come home because they were newly married or had new babies they hadn’t yet met. He was always so sure we would understand, because we were older. I never did understsnd. I thought he didn’t want to be with us.
Hi Lisa,
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for military families. I’ve struggled when I’ve had to spend just one night away from my family for work. God bless you, your family, and your dad.